Saturday, February 21, 2015

He Doesn't need me...

I just Wanted to share something that recently happened in my life.  I have this best friend of 10+ years who had been going through A LOT and I live cross country from her.  Between my dad's health declining with ALS and my best friends life going really rough, it pains me to be so far away and unable to physical be there for them.  Of course I pray for them daily but I can't DO much this far away.  Well the last 3 weeks I was back visiting my parents and helping my mom get their new house decorated and more homey for them since they had to move 6 months ago to a place that my dad could get around in his motor chair.  While there  spending time visiting my parents I had 2 opportunities to make it over to the city where my friend lives, and it was perfect timing too because her baby was having heart surgery so I could actually be there to serve her in person and be the friend I wanted to be and show Her God's love.  

She doesn't have any type of community that would get her signed up on meals and stuff like that you may get from a play group, MOPS or church community so I wanted to stock her kitchen with lots of easy meals and whatever else I could while there.  I was very concerned about her being cared for in that way and had even considered calling a MOPs group or something near her and asking them to bless her with meals...it was a big concern for me.  I've prayed many times to The Lord to pour out His love on her over the last year so she would KNOW His love...so now I was going to show it to her by being the best friend I could.  But come the day I was to go over, my son got the flu and I couldn't leave.  My path was blocked and as I was dissapointed, I really felt that for whatever reason it was meant to be that way, so I just looked forward to my next opportunity to see her before we flew back home.  

That last day my path was continually blocked again, we had a rental car situation that my husband has NEVER had before and he rents cars all the time for work so that put a huge dent in our day getting over there.  Once we made the drive over, thing after thing caused delays and at the end if the day I was not only unable to go to the store and bring her any groceries but I ended up showing up completely empty handed...not a card or anything for her or the baby who was just released from the nicu.  All I had to offer was me and some hugs.  I was like what the heck this is sooooo opposit my plan.  But....

While I was there she shared something with me, earlier that week as my path was being blocked to come see her the first time, she had credit card fraud which, for some reason, when she purchased vitamins and a small high chair seat on amazon the vitamins went through but not the high chair even though it was the same order.  So she decided to go on her local city neighborhood Facebook swap & trade page and ask if anyone had a high chair and this woman had one that she gave her for free.  When she saw the lady's profile picture it was the symbol for the same health issue her baby was having surgery for.  When she picked up the high chair she had this weird feeling like she knew her already.  That woman then asked my friend if she could post about her situation on the Facebook page they met on anonymously and my friend was surprised but said ok.  In no time she had meals lined up for the next 3 months, people wanting to help clean house each week, people bringing loads of groceries and dinner gift cards, the outpouring of love and support...from strangers...was totally amazing.

As I left her place that night, I was driving across a long bridge that leaves the city and I felt The Lord tell me "I don't need you.  I have angels everywhere". I couldn't help but laugh!  Like I was a little offended like I've invested so much in this friendship and prayed so much for her and I wasn't able to "do" anything for her but The Lord ANSWERED those prayers and did more than I or any of the other handful of people available could have on our own.  I was just supposed to be her friend and pray for her in this situation and it taught me to trust The Lord even more because He does got it...He has angels everywhere.  It's good that we are willing to be used but He doesn't always need us to do the job that He can do better through someone else.  It was also humbling because no matter how good our intentions, we aren't going to single handedly BE God to others even if we don't realize that's what we are trying to be.  We don't need to be anxious and worry that if we can't be the ones physically being there with someone than God's going to miss them.  That he can't reach them without our involvement.
He loves His children.  He has angels everywhere and our prayers for others do more good than what we, on our own strength, can attempt to do for them.   So, while I was bummed at first He didn't want to use me in this situation to fill a need I knew was there, I am relieved to know His love and His ways far outdo whatever we can think of and so the best thing we can ever do is pray, trust The Lord with it, and move and act when God leads and inspires you to and gives you the grace to do so.  In this situation it was so obvious He was not giving me the grace to do what I thought I needed to and wanted to do, and I am so glad knowing what he was orchestrating behind the scenes meanwhile as he blocked me for now, more LOVE from more people is flowing out into the world, love from neighbors who are strangers but what a good loving father He is to pour His love on my friend with the love of people in her community and giving all those people the opportunity to love their neighbor.  

So, if The Lord tells you He doesn't need you, don't be offended...let others and continue to pray and be ready for when He does.  His ways are above our ways.  

This situation as well as my parents situation living with ALS, is a good reminder of Newton's Third Law: For every action there is an equal and opposit reaction.  In both situations of difficulty, the reaction is love and tender mercies poured out and shared by many people in their communities.  It kills me not being close to my parents as they live with ALS, but they too have received an outpouring of love, help and service from members of their community and church.  It still hurts not living closer to them but I now more fully understand....There are angels everywhere.  We can't be everywhere we may wish to be and serve those we may wish to serve but we can pray for them and be ready to serve those we are granted to grace to serve and love.  

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